Friday, September 4, 2009


So, I'm unemployed. Its really no one's fault but my own, but I really feel like I had no choice in quitting my job. I was having severe panic attacks at work. It was pretty awful; I would get to work and start bawling and could not stop. I couldn't do my job, I couldn't get anything done. I sought professional help but all anyone could do was offer me more Prozac. It got to the point where I felt like killing myself was a better option than going to work. My boyfriend took me to the emergency room but apparently they can't do anything for you unless you are actually going to kill yourself. I didn't want to die, I just couldn't go to work without having a breakdown and felt like I couldn't give up on my career as a Chemist. After battling with this work panic for three weeks, I decided I had to quit my job. There was nothing else I could do; I couldn't stay at work, but I couldn't take any more sick time. No doctor or therapist could do or say anything to stop the panic attacks. So, about two weeks ago, I quit my job with no employment prospects and no way to support myself. I haven't had a single panic attack since I quit my job, but I can't say that I'm 100% better. There are times when I want to curl up in a ball and hide under the bed, but I know I have to keep pushing myself to find employment. I'm trying to look at it as an adventure to find myself, and its been fairly interesting so far. I know its essential to stay positive and I know there will be a happy ending to my story.

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